Now that I’ve got myself back on the blogging horse my mind is racing with all sorts of things I could write. That’s always been my problem – too many ideas and not enough perceived time. I say that, but really it’s all about not enough get-up-and-go to put those thoughts into action. It’s more like get-up-and-meh. I’ll be the first to admit that procrastination and I are very good friends. I would even go as far as to say that sometimes I can be a bit of a lazy git.
Over the last couple of years I’ve found that writing is something I’m quite good at. That may sound like I’m tooting my own horn, and I suppose to some extent I am, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a little pride in one’s abilities. I just hope that “pride before a fall” thing doesn’t happen to me. And if it does, I hope it’s a soft landing.
Now I do have a couple of quite ambitious writing projects I’ve been working on for quite some time. The problem is I always seem to get to a certain point and then I get completely bogged down with ideas and semantics and grammar (I am the worst Grammar Nazi I know) and minutiae and before I know it the task in hand just seems so overwhelming that I leave it to sit untouched and unloved in the bowels of my laptop, only occasionally getting some attention from me. All the while more ideas and landscapes and characters and situations spring up in my mind and get added to the all ready burgeoning filing cabinet in the recesses of my brain.
It really is quite frustrating.
Interestingly, I am the same with attempting any kind of artwork, and in particular painting. Painting was always my first choice when it came to any kind of artistic creativity. But as with my writing projects the ideas just feel too big now, too ambitious. It’s almost like I have a fear of failing, though failing what exactly I just don’t know. I guess that thing about being one’s own worst critic rings true for me. My problem is that I criticise before anything has actually been created, almost like I jump ahead of myself.
I’ve heard it said many times that the best way to write or paint is to do just that: write or paint. Just do it and see what happens. You would think my training as an Art Psychotherapist would hold me in good stead with this but I think just the opposite has happened. I’m too consumed with the process to actually get on with the nitty-gritty. I really can’t see the wood for the trees.
Now I don’t want to come across as some tortured artistic soul, ‘cos frankly that’s the furthest thing I could be. I’m just putting it out there really, thinking out loud if you like, with you Dear Reader as my sounding board.
One of the things I’d quite like to do with this new blog is share some fictional writing with you. Just some short little bursts to test the waters. I’ve seen it done on other blogs, and there’s one in particular that I’m a huge fan of. Check out MOSTLY NIGHTMARE when you get a chance. There is some amazingly quirky micro-writing on there by a very talented author. I think so anyway.
As for me, I’ll just carry on doing my thing on here. If there’s anyone out there that can give me some advice about overcoming my self-inflicted mental blocks I’d be very grateful.
Vincent Van Gogh:
If you hear a voice within you say “You cannot paint”, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.